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7 hours ago
BORED during lockdown? Run out of stuff to online shop for? Try these five easy ways to lose money from the comfort of your sofa.

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THE half-term ‘holiday’ has ‘finished’ and children are going ‘back to school’, their dead-eyed parents have confirmed.

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AS the prime minister is set to unveil the roadmap out of lockdown, the British public just wants to know when they can resume shooting game birds wit ...Read More

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7 hours ago
THE decision to open pubs earlier than gyms is because all the fitness dickheads needed a time out, SAGE has confirmed.

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BRITAIN’S highly responsible and scientifically literate newspapers had the best interests of the people in mind even 700 years ago. Here’s how they r ...Read More

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THE UK is looking forward to a marvellous summer of bitter arguments in car parks near tourism hotspots.

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LOCAL councils are changing outdated and offensive street names. But what names would the good old British public really like? Here are some suggestio ...Read More

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7 hours ago
CAREER flagging? Why not get yourself in the headlines by being cancelled, like I did?

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THE art of the self-deprecating show-off is a subtle one. Here’s how to become pro-level at inspiring envy while remaining humble.

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DAFT Punk are splitting up and you’re meant to be sad, because they’re seminal because music writers love them. But do you?

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